This is What Most People Get Wrong About Sex


Men and women were asked about the most common mistakes the opposite gender makes in bed. Here are the lists of the most bothersome issues.

In bed, everyone’s preferences differ slightly. People find different things arousing and require varying movements and tempos to experience the most intense pleasure. This is why it’s crucial for couples to talk openly and regularly about sex - to share what they need to make their intimate moments truly satisfying. Partners should express what brings them strong enjoyment and also what they find uncomfortable or distracting.

Couple talking in bed

Unfortunately, many people struggle to be honest about their desires and opinions with their partners, even though it’s so important. A study sought to address this issue by asking individuals what they think the opposite gender gets wrong most often in bed.

The Most Annoying Mistakes Men Make in Sex, According to Women

The website Illicit Encounters surveyed 2,000 people online and compiled lists of the most bothersome mistakes, as identified by women and men. While not everyone makes these errors, the findings can serve as thoughtful advice. According to women, men most frequently make the following ten mistakes, ranked from the most serious:

  1. Skipping or rushing foreplay.
  2. Reaching climax before their partner.
  3. Being clumsy or awkward.
  4. Trying to talk dirty but doing it too crudely.
  5. Forgetting about communication and intimacy during and after sex.
  6. Falling asleep immediately after sex.
  7. Making comments about the woman’s body.
  8. Assuming they know what their partner wants.
  9. Ignoring their partner’s signals.
  10. Focusing only on the physical aspect and neglecting the emotional connection.

The Most Common Mistakes Women Make in Bed, According to Men

Unsurprisingly, men’s list of complaints differed significantly from women’s. Men highlighted the following frequent mistakes made by women:

  1. Not initiating sex.
  2. Wanting to have sex only in the dark.
  3. Faking orgasms.
  4. Talking too much.
  5. Never wanting to try anything new.
  6. Mentioning how their previous partner did things in bed.
  7. Overthinking sex.
  8. Being overly shy.
  9. Believing men are always in the mood for sex.
  10. Worrying too much about their appearance.
couple whispering in bed


These lists highlight issues that can be resolved primarily through open and honest communication. Partners should not fear each other’s reactions but should kindly and tactfully express what needs to change. Many of these behaviors, deemed annoying, can be eliminated relatively easily.

Expert Opinion

Sammi Cole, a sex and relationship expert, emphasized that there are many reasons why someone might lose interest in intimacy. Sometimes, these mistakes could be the underlying cause, making it all the more critical to address them. She suggests starting such conversations with a positive comment or compliment before discussing ways to improve or make things more enjoyable. Offering specific ideas or advice and explaining how these could enhance intimacy is a great approach. However, blame, arguments, and hurtful tones should be avoided at all costs.

Finally, after one partner has shared their desires, Cole recommends asking the other what would make the experience better for them.

Foods That Enhance Sexual Desire

Certain foods can also boost sexual desire. If you’re planning for a passionate evening, consider including these strong aphrodisiacs in your dinner - they’re not only delicious but also mood-enhancing.

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